What causes fibromyalgia???
This I would love to know.
As would any and all who suffer from this awful disease.
I’ve read about so many different theory’s from Doctors and researchers.
Of course they each believe they have the answer or are on the right track, yet there theory will be completely different from the next so???
I’ve read things like it’s caused because of our blood has an imbalance or we ate so much bad food that now our gut is sending out this and that which makes our bodies’ imbalanced.
That it’s from an imbalance in our brains or it’s from a trauma, an old illness, or that it’s genetic or stress. even poor physical condition. also muscle trama, hormonal disturbances, and so on and so on …ect. Basicly it’s caused by everything and nothing all at the same time.
How freaking lovely right?
I do have some of my own theory’s like I think it probably is genetic and I think you probably do have symptoms all your life, I believe these because of my own experience but I could be wrong.
I can’t wait to find out though.
Not only because it will lead to our pain management and cure but also because I like to know why about everything.
If something is wrong with me, my family, my car or T.V. I want to know why and how it happened.
I guess so I can try to prevent it in the future or fix it now.
I would also love to have some type of evidence that I have it.
Even a simple dot on my arm or purple finger nails. Haha. Purple is my favorite so I wouldn’t mind. 🙂 but something would be great!!
So, my for sure craziest memory lapse story from my fibro fog is about my paycheck.
I had my nephew that day. No surprise there and I had a list of things I needed to get done. Stop here, go there, do this and that anndd cash paycheck. My last and final thing on my list was grocery shopping. Makes sence because cold stuff should be taken home asap.
Well I thought I had completed all my arends and so I went grocery shopping.
Kaegen was definitely done with this day by time we made it to checkout and had started acting up. That only made things worse.
When the cashier was almost done ringing up my food I smacked my forehead saying OH MY GOSH…. The cashier looks and me and says , WHAT??? I said I just realized I forgot to cash my check. The man in line behind me looked at me but didn’t say a word. The cashier then told me to run over to the service desk, that nobody was there so she could cash it right now.
So I grab Kaegen and my purse and we go over there. I give her all my stuff and go figure Kaegen keeps running off. I’m so embarrassed. I can’t wait to leave this store. All I can do is apologize over and over to everyone.
Finally we leave with our grocerys. Man oh mighty, That is a day I will always remember. Thanks fibro fog.
My memory,,, WOW. I know it’s common to be forgetful when you have fibro, but just wow. It’s called fibro fog and you forget a lot. I think maybe it’s because im in pain all the time and so pain is always on my mind.
So if I don’t concentrate on what someone is telling me or even what im doing I forget. Heck even when im busy running errands I’ll forget what im doing, where im going, or why I am where I am.
One day I went through the line at Starbucks and couldn’t remember what I was doing there. I’ve even done something crazy like get in my car and realize I brought something with me from the house but don’t know why and don’t even remember picking it up.
Sometimes I even go completely blank like my brain isn’t working at all. Like I could totally be talking to a nurse or someone and be completely blank as to what meds I’m on or any kind of information about myself.
It’s so crazy. Talking to someone and not even know what my point was. Idk.
It just seems to happen a lot. If my memory were better I could come up with way better examples. ugh. huh, idk, lol I sure hope I don’t forget my name…
So I had my nephew the other day. He’s almost 2 years old. (Actually next month, June 11th is his 2nd birthday.) So, he had said to me “let’s go for a walk” and so we did. We walked half way around the block. Then stopped at my mother in-laws for a break and ate an ice cream sandwich. Which was a nice little break for me. Then we finished up walking the rest of the way around our block. At some point toward the end I was carrying Kaegen because he didn’t want to walk anymore but, when we finally got home I sat there in my living room soooo ready for a nap. I was totally pooped. I couldn’t even get back up for a while. I can’t belive how wore out and sore that walk had made me. Ugh… My golly…. It wasn’t like we were speed walking. Which once again proves my point that doctors are crazy, because one of the things they say I should do is a little bit faster than a walk daily for 10 minutes. That it’s suppose to help manage my pain. WHAT? REALLY? No not my fibro. It kills me. So try again doc…
People always forget that I have fibro, which is a disability. 😦 I can’t do everything that I should be able to do. Like pick up or hold heavy things, Move things, and Have energy. Simple stuff. “People” are always like hey will you? Can you? I need you to….Then because I’m so strong-minded and all. I will usually do whatever asked of me. Of course I pay the price later, But it’s hard not to do things that you know you physically can only shouldn’t.
And then on the flip side of that is if I say I can’t “people” get confused. They get this look on their face or in their voice. Like what??? Like they think im bull shitting them, but nope im not. I’m a disabled young mother. And yes it sucks… So when I tell them no and they get that weird look or sound in their voice I say, my fibro, remember? I can’t. Sorry. Then they always say oh yeah I forgot or I always forget. Which I do understand because I forget about others limitations as well, but when this happens to me I feel like im letting them down. I hate that feeling.
I want to be all that I can and should be. I sure wish I could, but I am limited. So what I need to focus on is my happiness, gracefulness, humbleness, gratefulness , family, and my health. 🙂
So, my leg’s have been feeling much better lately. I’m sure it has a lot to do with me not working, but I can’t help thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have quit. That I don’t want to give up so easily. I don’t want to be a baby. I also know it does cause me more pain to do it though. First my wrists just killed me. Like pain level 100 and then my legs were pain level 100. It’s just much easier to deal and or fake it to make it when my pain level is at least on the pain chart. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Fibro just suck’s!!!
UGH, My legs’… I hate them, I hate them, I hate them…
So as I was trying to shop at the store today for thing’s we need. Food, house hold item’s and odds n ends. I realized I can barely make it on my own two leg’s anymore. It was so hard. I was in so much pain just shopping for my family. UGH, I HATE THIS… I held as much of my weight as I could onto my arms. which were across the cart. That way not as much pressure was on my leg’s. Which helped a little. But not really. 😦 Which suck’s because I like to take my time, walk the store and look for good deals. I’m not so sure I can do that anymore. I’m not sure how long I’m going to have use of my leg’s period… They just hurt so bad. After I got into my car and began driving home I had a realization. I think I’m going to need a wheelchair very soon. Much sooner than I had ever imagined Especially if I’m doing a lot of walking. Like at the store. I also should probably have someone come with me for help. This just isn’t fair. I’m not even 40 yet. What has my life become?? I feel so pathetic. So useless. An embarrassment and a nuisance. I just want to be me.
Have I mentioned I HATE FIBROMYALGIA?? What a life I’m living. For the rest of my life. This is going to suck so bad. And people are going to look at me like I’m crazy and or lazy because I look fine. Well, other than the weird way I may be walking.
I don’t know if I’m suppose to keep pushing and be strong or if I should cave in and get a wheelchair? I wish I had someone with answers for me.
This struggle is so real.