I had got a phone call from my doctor’s office on Friday to check on me and see if the last med modification had helped with my flare-up’s. Which it didn’t and I told her that the new cream I have does absolutely nothing. She of course has to put the info on doc’s desk for him to review and they will be calling me soon with new information from the doc. Friday night my daughter had a double-header which the weather was just freezing for. I felt like I was in an ice box the whole time. Which might have had something to do with my fibro. It can do that. Don’t get me wrong because everyone was really cold but I was a little ridicules. 3 blankets plus a sweat shirt and a jacket. Then Saturday was my daughters slumber party which was 5 of her friends from school and Sunday I took the group of girls to Magic Mountain, McDonald’s, Rue 21 and to the pet store to play with the animals. Monday morning I had to get up at 4am for work. I was just so exhausted to the core due to everything over the weekend. Thank God it was a slow day. My Doctor’s office calls me back while I’m at work and tell’s me that my doc had really hoped my Rheumatologist had helped more and that he really doesn’t know what else to do to help me. So he’s going to refer me to a pain management and will give me a call back once they do that. I was so confused because he had talked about other options with me in the past. Like simply upping the meds im on or even switching over to another group of meds and trying them. which is actually the group of meds that he thinks I’d need. but nope. Because I suddenly get that he don’t know how to help me and is sending me to pain management. Like wait, what?? I felt so helpless, unwanted, lonely, sad, scared…ect. I went home and just layed in bed. Skipped my daughters game and just cried. Cried because of my feelings and cried because all of this had caused me to have a bad painful flare-up. I cried and slept for hours. My family didn’t even have a clue. They just thought I was sleeping because I had got up at 4am that morning. They usually don’t have a clue of what i’m going through though. They only know what I tell them. Which I guess is how it is with an invisible illness. Not that they understand anything that I do tell them. Fibromyalgia is so hard to explain. Plus I always feel like I’m being a cry baby. I hate feeling that way. The next day I felt much better, but with leg cramps all day. My husband and I had the day off together which was great. He had woke me that morning with kisses all over my face. Best way to wake up and I defiantly needed that. I felt so loved. I love that man so much it’s crazy. Kids were at school. House to our selves. Nice quite and calm. He worked on our daughter’s remodeling of her room and I tried to just take it easy. Now here I sit Wednesday morning. my second day off. Everyone is gone. House to my self. So quite and peaceful as I sit here Writing.