Crazy

   I don’t know but I tell you what, Sometimes this disease literally will make me question my own sanity. Because there are times that I ask my self and even others if I’m just crazy. Have I lost my mind? Only I don’t know because my mind is gone…  Do I really have pain or is all of this just because I’m crazy?

   I even assume other’s think I am crazy. Like when I talk about my fibro I assume they are sitting there thinking, This chick is nut’s.  I also feel like I’m crazy when I talk to my nurses and Doctor’s. I keep telling myself , They know its real Mic, Your not their only patient with fibro. They have other patients with this disease.

   I also feel crazy when I try to explain a specific pain or issue to someone. Because fibro is just so hard to explain.

    IMG_20170501_193436                 My leg’s hurt all the time. They feel like small cramps cramping all over variously. Each cramp last’s a minute or two. sometime’s more than one cramp goes on at once. This is pretty much all the time. Whenever I do get a break from the cramps my legs still hurt. They both ach and are so wore out. ugh. And that’s just my leg’s. The pain is everywhere. My feet, knee’s, hip’s, back, shoulder’s,neck,arms. wrist’s back of hands, finger’s and thumb and that’s just the area’s of pain. There’s also so much more in so many way’s.             Fibro messes with your entire nervous system and I HATE it….

  Fibro SUCK’S!!!!  I just want to be normal again!!!

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7 Replies to “Crazy”

  1. Carry on from one crazy fibro warrior to another! I mean who wouldn’t be??? The leg thing. That is my biggest and most recent hurdle right now. I just can’t seem to make it OVER this damn hurdle… doc will get an earful next visit! Any tips? ~Kim

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Long ago, well, 2002, was when I knew I wasn’t crazy. I’d been in pain since I was 11. My ankle used to swell and freeze in position, and my back and arms used to hurt. Until I was 21, it was ‘growing pains’ – even my scoliosis – a visible thing – was not allowed to cause me pain according to my specialists. I was just ‘sensitive’. Then an odd thing happened – I had a car accident. It was a tiny bump, but I got whiplash/torticollis. I had spent most of my life going to A&E with pain that had no reason. But this time I went with my shoulder bent up to my ear, unable to move, in such pain that the triage nurse actually mentioned how white, sweaty yet cold I was. I saw a junior doctor who may have been of his head on pills. He looked at me, touched my neck and said ‘Fuck, you’ve got Torticollis. It was only a little bump? Why didn’t you get an ambulance? How did you get here? It happened how long ago? Shit. All I can give you are these (a big bottle of codeine and a big bottle of diazepam). I suggest you have them with a little wine, and sit up tonight, keep taking them until it relaxes’. That reaction told me that I wasn’t crazy. And I wasn’t ‘sensitive’, in fact I had a very high pain threshold. And from then on, I’ve fought for people to believe me. My Dad still doesn’t really – even when he saw a specialist who shouted at him about it. But that is my Dad’s problem. So, I was lucky to have a stoned medical student believe me at 2am in a dump of a hospital, and if someone who really fucking needs sleep, and really wants to go home, believes me, you can believe you, whatever people say. Even if the doubters are in your head. Tell those voices to fuck off. xx

    Liked by 2 people

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