So my last few weeks, I’ve escalated pain, lots of leg cramps or leg pain period. I feel like I need to stretch them non-stop to subside the pain. It don’t cure it but ohhh how wonderful the stretch feels while it lasts. 💚
but Ughhh the pain. Plus the stairs are so hard to deal with. So I just yell up the stairs at the top of my crazy lady lungs to my children. How lovely. ☺
I just feel like shit…period! Weak and so so very sleepy. Like I haven’t slept in days. I just drag ass as I go trough my miserable days. When all I really want to do is lay down and watch tv until I fall asleep.
I just always feel like I’m non-stop on the edge of sickness and I often tumble over that line and do feel sick.
I just want to sleep. Not take care of others. Only baby myself. Because I feel like I can’t. I just can’t do life. Just can’t do what’s expected of me. I Just don’t have it in me.
Then I’ve been so emotional as well. I’ve been fighting that urge to cry with all my might. I know nobody wants to see or hear that.
Me. Cry about my pain again…. my legs, my emotions. I’m so tired. I can’t take it. My legs need stretched, They hurt, I feel sick, I’m sorry but I can’t, I don’t have the energy, my body hurts. Or hear me cry about my feelings. I feel sad, I’m a failure, I wanna cry….Nope – nobody wants to hear any of that. Hell, me either. I’m sick of it so, I know everyone around me has to be too…
I don’t know. Ugh… Why is this so hard. I can’t live like this forever. My life hurts. Everything inside my skin hurts and is broken.
I hate it! I hate this! I hate that this is my forever life… Why why why why?
Also to ad insult to injury – I have the psychiatrist issue. I really feel like fuck it. I’m over it. I just can’t deal right now.
This is my life😢