I just want to be me

   I hate this, I hate this, I hate this…. uuggghhh. I’m so miserable all the time and today has been a hard one.  I’m in so much pain.  I’m so super tired.  I napped for like I think 5 hours.  I hate sleeping my life away.  I’m also so freaking week.  My brain is nothing but a fog.  I can’t think straight.  I feel like I have a fever but I don’t. My legs, my knees.. ugh. My life…. My life is so painful and so hard to deal with.  I hate it when I have to stop.  Just stop Mic.  Ugh … No.  No because I want to keep being me.  I want to keep caring for my loves.  I don’t want to stop these things.  I want to be me!  It’s so hard to convince myself when I need to slow down and stop. I keep telling myself in my head but I typically don’t listen until it puts me out. Lays me down. No options available.  I hate this life. I hate living this way. I just want to be me. I just want to be Mic. I just want to be Mom. I just want to be babe and Meme, daughter and sister.  I just want to be me!

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14 Replies to “I just want to be me”

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have fibromyalgia. I have an aunt who has it (and arthritis too). After many years she finally went on Lyrica, it has helped her with the pain. I also have a sister with chronic pain, meditation has helped her cope with it. I hope you will find something that will work for you. You are still a mom and everything else even if you don’t feel like you are doing enough to be those things. When mom’s happy – everyone’s happy – so do what you need to do to get there, even if that means slowing down. You have to take care of yourself in order to care for others. Remember you are LadyfribroWARRIOR, Hope you find what works for you. Prayers for pain relief, and virtual hugs for your soul.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You and I are both fighting our emotions and our bodies right now. We are strong, just look at what we have survived so far. The problems that get us down also give us a deep inner strength. You are you. You are a warrior. You are not alone. Always here 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are having a sucky time of it. Just get through it… I PROMISE… this is a flare and you WILL get past it. It definitely takes time, and rest, and patience. Try to calm down, give yourself a break, in due time you’ll be back in the driver’s seat but right now, nope. Sucking the life out of you fibro flare. It will end!~Kim

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can absolutely relate to this right now. It’s so hard when you see the person you used to be fading away in the background. You are still mom, babe, sister and daughter. Don’t beat yourself up honey. With been dealt a rubbish hand but we will get through it. Sending lots of gentle hugs your way x x

    Liked by 1 person

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