- So, Friday morning… One of the worst. wake ups you can get.
My daughter handing me her cell phone saying,” it’s grandma ” And grandma (my mother) crying because her big sister passed away in the middle of the night.
My aunt that I grew up super close to. I was like her 4th child. Oh my gosh. I new it was coming but just didn’t expect yet.
She had a couple different strokes and also colon cancer . She faught a good fight and now is I heaven with her mom and dad. ❤
I of course got up and went to say my goodbyes before they took her away since she’s being cremated.
She’s an angle now with no more suffering.😇
So crazy me. Our one bush has overgrown over some of the side walk that leads to our front door. I had said something to my husband about the hedges needing cut. So he does go do some hedge cutting, but he never did the one bush that at this point is driving me crazy. All cut except the one growing out over our walk way. Ugh… i say something but time goes on and nothing changes with this one bush except it’s continuing to grow. Now I’ve never in my life cut the hedges. Never even watched it be done but finally I can’t take it any longer. Husband is at work so I go to the garage and get the hedge trimmer and an extension cord. I get it all plugged up And go at it. Sparks fly. Colors. What was that?? I had already let go so it would shut off. I stop. Set the Hedge cutter down and looked at everything. I had noticed I cut the extension cord in half. So that’s not good. So I unplug everything and throw the extension cord in the trash. I can already see my husband shaking his head at me. Haha. That’s such a Mic move. Lol. I then go to the garage and grab another extension cord. This time I wrap the cord around my shoulder so that I won’t cut it in half again. And I go at the bush again. After a little while it finally looks a lot better. I can finally see my sidewalk. I feel much better inside. but my hand and arm are so numb I can’t feel them anymore. oh boy. I know later it’s going to get bad. I better stop what I’m doing and go rest the rest of the day away so I don’t end up in a fibro flare up before we go on vacation. but the bush is cut. The sidewalk is clear an so isn’t my inter self. 😁
My memory,,, WOW. I know it’s common to be forgetful when you have fibro, but just wow. It’s called fibro fog and you forget a lot. I think maybe it’s because im in pain all the time and so pain is always on my mind.
So if I don’t concentrate on what someone is telling me or even what im doing I forget. Heck even when im busy running errands I’ll forget what im doing, where im going, or why I am where I am.
One day I went through the line at Starbucks and couldn’t remember what I was doing there. I’ve even done something crazy like get in my car and realize I brought something with me from the house but don’t know why and don’t even remember picking it up.
Sometimes I even go completely blank like my brain isn’t working at all. Like I could totally be talking to a nurse or someone and be completely blank as to what meds I’m on or any kind of information about myself.
It’s so crazy. Talking to someone and not even know what my point was. Idk.
It just seems to happen a lot. If my memory were better I could come up with way better examples. ugh. huh, idk, lol I sure hope I don’t forget my name…
So I had my nephew the other day. He’s almost 2 years old. (Actually next month, June 11th is his 2nd birthday.) So, he had said to me “let’s go for a walk” and so we did. We walked half way around the block. Then stopped at my mother in-laws for a break and ate an ice cream sandwich. Which was a nice little break for me. Then we finished up walking the rest of the way around our block. At some point toward the end I was carrying Kaegen because he didn’t want to walk anymore but, when we finally got home I sat there in my living room soooo ready for a nap. I was totally pooped. I couldn’t even get back up for a while. I can’t belive how wore out and sore that walk had made me. Ugh… My golly…. It wasn’t like we were speed walking. Which once again proves my point that doctors are crazy, because one of the things they say I should do is a little bit faster than a walk daily for 10 minutes. That it’s suppose to help manage my pain. WHAT? REALLY? No not my fibro. It kills me. So try again doc…
People always forget that I have fibro, which is a disability. 😦 I can’t do everything that I should be able to do. Like pick up or hold heavy things, Move things, and Have energy. Simple stuff. “People” are always like hey will you? Can you? I need you to….Then because I’m so strong-minded and all. I will usually do whatever asked of me. Of course I pay the price later, But it’s hard not to do things that you know you physically can only shouldn’t.
And then on the flip side of that is if I say I can’t “people” get confused. They get this look on their face or in their voice. Like what??? Like they think im bull shitting them, but nope im not. I’m a disabled young mother. And yes it sucks… So when I tell them no and they get that weird look or sound in their voice I say, my fibro, remember? I can’t. Sorry. Then they always say oh yeah I forgot or I always forget. Which I do understand because I forget about others limitations as well, but when this happens to me I feel like im letting them down. I hate that feeling.
I want to be all that I can and should be. I sure wish I could, but I am limited. So what I need to focus on is my happiness, gracefulness, humbleness, gratefulness , family, and my health. 🙂