So I have mentioned in the past on a different post’s that my pain management doctor said that I wouldn’t be in so much pain if I would just accept the fact that I had fibromyalgia right? Which is crazy because I think I have but anyway. So he referred me to a psychiatrist. The first one they referred me to never called Nothing NADA zip zilch. So I’m like okay whatever so I tried to call pain management to let them know but they never got back ahold of me either. So when I went back for my check up with my pain management doctor I guess to see how the psychiatrist appointments were going and if they were helping any but of course I hadn’t been to one. So I told him the story. So that was a fast appointment. Totally useless. So he referred me to another psychiatrist which I again didn’t hear anything. But also this time it’s a man. The first psychiatrist was a woman then the second one was a man. And I kind of started thinking after a minute like I don’t know that I’m going to really open up to a guy. I know the point is for me to open up to somebody or whatever and I don’t know that I would so it would all be pointless. I definitely wouldn’t be real and on a deep level. I just know my self. Not to mention I always look everybody up (always research) and this guy didn’t have the best referrals or reviews or anything like that annnnd, when I talked to my primary doctor he looked at my referral notes and seen who I was referred to he kind of made some comments like, well you know if you need to be referred to somebody else let us know and it won’t be a problem to refer you to someone else. And if he don’t know what this means (talking about his notes) then he’s not very good at his job. Her really said little things like that. Just the way he was talking made me think like he has heard something about this guy. That maybe her really thinks this guy this psychiatrist isn’t the best. So all that kind of made me rethink about even giving him a try. Kinda scared me away. So, I was thinking and I called my primary doctor today because it’s been a little while and I still haven’t heard from that guy. I told them that I would really rather have a woman because I’m just not going to open up to a guy like that and she said that’s completely fine. She said I could look up and find anybody I want and I can pick who I want make sure they took my insurance and they will send a referral over to whoever I feel like I’d be comfortable with. Which it was awesome I did not expect that at all so I went through and I researched. I look at this person and that person. I called a couple places and these doctors aren’t there anymore and then I found one. She’s like a holistic type of a psychiatrist. She don’t prescribe addictive medication and she’s about the mind and body. I’m not sure what it’s really going to be like. I’ve never been to a holistic Dr. It all just sounded really good. She looked a little young but seemed so perfect. So I ended up calling her office and she happened to be the one to answer the phone. She sounded really nice on the phone she said she would take me as her patient and she didn’t personally need a referral but if my doctor’s office did that was fine. That she will wait on my referral. She was going to text me her fax number so I can give it to my doctors and when she did that she talked to me a little bit over text. I told her to look out for my name and she said which office I said Columbus and it just feels so good and it’s so crazy that I was texting my psychiatrist before I even ever met her. Sor tomorrow I will call my primary doctor’s office and give them all the information so they can send my referral ASAP. Then when I go there hopefully she really can help me in some kind of way in this journey of mine but I just thought it was a little bit different. The whole process that I went through to find a psychiatrist. Who I end up speaking to on the phone and texting on my phone. I feel really comfortable. I feel really good about it and I will keep you posted.
So I went to my primary doctor the other day for a regular fibro check-up and he was reading his notes on the computer from my pain management doctors office nurse. She had left some notes because I had filed out their questionnaire and I had wrote that I have severe memory loss. Which I do. I forget everything 5 seconds later and she asked me about it so I just told her I assumed it was normal from my fibro. But she acted like it might not be. Like maybe it’s something to worry about. I don’t know I never worried about it before but she kind of had me a little bit worried. Then a few days later I go to my GP doctor which was not too long ago. I guess the nurse had put notes in my chart. So, he questioned me about it and I’m thinking oh wow she really was worried because she put notes in there for my GP doctor. Which so he did a little test on me and thank goodness it came out the way it did. Because it proves that I do not have Alzheimer’s or dementia. That it is literally just because of my fibromyalgia. Which on another note is kind of sad. It’s because the fibromyalgia is so bad and distracts my brain because my brain is so busy fighting it that it can’t hold on to things memory wise unless I really want to hold on to it. I literally have to concentrate hard. Like say it over and over in my brain. I remember last year I forgot to give my daughter lunch for cross-country so I forget important things. That was just one that got to me the most because it’s my daughter and food you know and apparently you got to feed them to grow them and so they live. Things like that haha. Anyways so the great news is I do not have Alzheimer’s or dementia. It is just once again because of my stupid fibro. Thank God! It’s probably the only time I’d ever said thank God it’s my stupid fibro.
So this past weekend was our tax-free weekend here on ohio. It’s only on school clothes, shoes and supplies up to $75.00. It was nice. We had such a great day. We went shopping on Friday morning. We left the house around 10am. shopped all day. Got home around 7pm. Yes it only lasted all day. My daughter is particular but She got some great deals. My son is so laid-back. He don’t care. He just goes with the flow. We walked in, we shopped and we shopped and we walked and we shopped some more. Let me tell you how it felt. Now that’s a whole nother story. My legs hurt so bad. My entire body ached like nobody’s business and then to hear other people say oh my legs I felt like if you only knew but we got through it. The next day I was super sore. I definitely paid for it. The plus side was we had lunch at White Castle which we don’t get very often because we don’t live near one but we are all set and ready for school. They start on the 17th of August and I will have my quiet time back. How fabulous.
So lately I have been trying to learn about how to run a business from ebay. I’ve even sold I think 3 things. It’s so crazy the things people will buy. It just drives me crazy that I’m not helping my husband care for our family. I want to help and then some. Like my daughter and I love our girls days. Shopping and restraunts or whatever ails us. I love to help with my children and I love to have money when they ask for ice cream. I want to help pay for bills and food. School is coming and I have no money to help and it makes me sad that I can’t help. This fibromyalgia don’t let me be consistent in any type of job and so I thought maybe if I start selling on eBay I could get some money in and I can do it slowly. Anything is better than the nothing that I have now and I can do what I can when I can. I wouldn’t have to worry about a boss, losing a job or any type of obligations and timelines. So I thought maybe this would be a good way for me to help. I’m not sure if it will work out. I certainly hope so. I know I have a lot to learn and it will be a slow process. But that’s perfectly fine. If anybody has any advice I’d appreciate it because fibromyalgia sucks!
I really love this. Made me feel like a better person, so I wanted to share that with everyone. 🙂
I am pretty confident these days with my life and who I am. It’s taken decades and a lot of soul searching, turning myself inside out, and hundreds of books. I’m also in my 40’s and I believe that, at this point, I’m just tired of the drama around trying to fit in or keep up. I stepped off the main path with all the others a while back and now I just wander around looking at the brightly colored flowers and enjoying the sights.
As a writer and homemaker, I’ve gone through the insecurities of not being good enough, creative enough, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and then you add motherhood. The three topics could put me in therapy for days. At what point do we know we are doing a great job just as we are and doing just what we are doing? How fabulous, fun, and sparkly do…
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So last night I was in a research mode and I looked up many things that popped into my mind. One of which was is there a state that would be better for someone like me who suffers from fibromyalgia to live in?
I couldn’t find anything even close. I looked up which state via laws, health care, doctor care, and just over all and I still didn’t find anything. Only personal opinions that the warmer states help them, the mid west helped her comments. It was all weather wise and everyone contradicted each other.
I’ll probably look more into it but it was on my mind so I wanted to share. 🙂
So this really has nothing to do with my fibromyalgia but it is such a great story I must share…
So a couple of weeks ago my children and I were driving down an old country road and came across a huge turtle in the road. A lady stopped right before us so that’s what first got our attention. We also stopped and were trying to help get this poor turtle out of the road.
He was a snapping turtle so that only made things harder. So the only thing we could come up with was find a big enough stick to push on his shell but not hurt him but get him to safety. All the while cars driving past us. Some being rude because we are all standing in the road to protect the turtle.
We did manage to get him to safety. It was a slow process because we didn’t want to hurt him. I only hope he never went back into the road. I couldn’t believe how big he was. I didnt know we have turtles that big here in Ohio. He was about as big as a tire rim. Maybe a little smaller but real close.
Fibromyalgia, oh fibromyalgia….. ughhh…. So I’ve already figured out I can only do so much for so long before fibro knocks me on my butt like—- POW….. And that it did. ugh.
Yesterday evening it hit me. I had been going all busy body for a while now. with only worsening pains. (not to downplay the pain only it’s just not what this story is about.) which got really bad but not yet the knock me down .
It went busy body, short of sleep, craziness, stress, overwhelmed, and about to freak out mode till it knocked me down. All in a days time. Whoa…
So this is the story— My 13-year-old daughter Rylie had come up with this idea to have a summers last blow out sleep over with her besties. So she invited them over for her sleep over … There ended up being 3 extra teeny boppers at my house. Not to mention Rylie, my son Naven and 2-year-old nephew Kaegen. Pluse a husband lol.
The girls were good and all just full of energy. They stayed up untill around 1am downstairs. Then went up stairs but not to sleep. They pulled an all nighter which is fine. I know it’s fun. Though loud enough to wake me several times.
5am my son wakes me. Girls were screaming and freaking out so he came to the rescue but found that our brand new 6 week old kitten mizzou (From our Missouri vacation) had fallen through a crack where our old pull dolly in our home is and down to the basement. (I guess one of the girls had left the door open.) Kitten crying and trying to climb the old rope back up but re-falling. It was so so sad.
I wake my husband who has to go to the basement and pull old boards out of the wall to reach the kitten. Kitten Mizzou Rescued!!! Such a relief. Her poor nose was bleeding but she seemed ok.
Sad thing is that this isn’t her first rodeo. Poor girl last week went up the stairs to my sons room then walked out over to the railing and just fell. Of course he called me scared saying emergency, emergency and I came home fast as possible. Her little nose was bleeding then as well but otherwise ok. I had called the vet and she talked to me about all the ins and outs. So, unfortunately this isn’t her first rodeo..
Anyway, Kaegen and I woke around 10am. Cool and chill then whinny sets in and girls wake up. Busy all over. Niece Sydney is in town from the Navy. mother-in-law made food, Son needs me to go somewhere with him, Girls need me for this and that., Whiney head Kaegen needs me and everything but yet nothing and all at the same time…. Ugh. I felt pulled this way that way and the other all at once.
Finally done and home. Then BAM, POW, BOP!! Yep, Im done. Absolutely no energy, or strength. Everything hurts. Feel of the flu but not the flu to best explain, but worse… In bed I went. It was even too much to watch t.v. So to sleep I went and I slept untill 10am the next morning.. I woke feeling a little better. I Just know I must take it slow and steady for a while.
I hate fake storeys. I was recently tagged to an article on Facebook that was saying they finally figured out the where and why of fibromyalgia… Saying that they finally found proof that it’s in our blood. So on and so on.
Yet it would be awesome if they did figure out any information of the sorts, because we can’t have a cure for fibro until we find out the where and why of it, But I see so many completely different stories all the time. It’s so miss leading to those of us who suffer.
No one should post that they found this information if it’s not real info. Ugh… honestly I think I may have posted about this very some subject in the past at one time or another. Its just that it annoys me so bad.😡
I only want to read real info! Anyways, Thanks Ashley for tagging me to something you thought mite be helpful to me. 💜
Yard work and fibromyalgia just don’t mix very well together. Which I had already found that out the hard way last year. But the temptations… When you see something and just want it done the right way right now. Ugh… The struggle to not do things is very real. Sounds a little crazy, I know. Lol but there really is a struggle.
So there were some things I wanted done in our yard and I wanted it done today. So I put the kids to work. Which they already know my yard limitations. At least for the most part. So when I asked them for help they didn’t mind or hesitate. My daughter mowed the grass while my son cut down a lot of weeds in a certain area of our yard for me. It’s an area we use to call the jungle. It was once filled with lots of pretty flowers but now mostly taken over by weeds.
So, I decided that next year I want to plant vegetables there. And them weeds just had to go today. They had been driving me crazy long enough. But of course I can’t help my self and start trying to help my son and the next thing I know is I can’t stand straight up because my back hurts so bad. My son tells me “this is why I told you not to mess with stuff. You know you will get hurt. ” So I had to sit in a chair until it calmed down before I could go inside and call it a day. He did finish cutting all the weeds down. Which is awesome so now it won’t drive me crazy anymore. 😉
Fibro just makes life so complicated. I just want to do what I want when I want but that will never be the case ever again for me. Ugh…