People always forget that I have fibro, which is a disability.   😦                                                                                   I can’t do everything that I should be able to do.         Like pick up or hold heavy things, Move things, and  Have energy. Simple stuff. “People” are always like hey will you? Can you? I need you to….Then because I’m so strong-minded and all. I will usually do whatever asked of me. Of course I pay the price later, But it’s hard not to do things that you know you physically can only shouldn’t.

   And then on the flip side of that is if  I say I can’t “people” get confused. They get this look on their face or in their voice. Like what??? Like they think im bull shitting them, but nope im not. I’m a disabled young mother. And yes it sucks… So when I tell them no and they get that weird look or sound in their voice I say, my fibro, remember? I can’t. Sorry. Then they always say oh yeah I forgot or I always forget. Which I do understand because I forget about others limitations as well, but when this happens to me I feel like im letting them down. I hate that feeling.

   I want to be all that I can and should be. I sure wish I could, but I am limited. So what I need to focus on is my happiness, gracefulness, humbleness, gratefulness , family, and my health. 🙂


Feeling better

   So, my leg’s have been feeling much better lately. I’m sure it has a lot to do with me not working, but I can’t help thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have quit. That I don’t want to give up so easily. I don’t want to be a baby. I also know it does cause me more pain to do it though. First my wrists just killed me. Like pain level 100 and then my legs were pain level 100. It’s just much easier to deal and or fake it to make it when my pain level is at least on the pain chart. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Fibro just suck’s!!!  


  UGH, My legs’… I hate them, I hate them, I hate them…

   So as I was trying to shop at the store today for thing’s we need. Food, house hold item’s and odds n ends. I realized I can barely make it on my own two leg’s anymore. It was so hard. I was in so much pain just shopping for my family. UGH, I HATE THIS… I held as much of my weight as I could onto my arms. which were across the cart. That way not as much pressure was on my leg’s. Which helped a little. But not really.  😦  Which suck’s because I like to take my time, walk the store and look for good deals. I’m not so sure I can do that anymore. I’m not sure how long I’m going to have use of my leg’s period… They just hurt so bad.                                                                                                            IMG_20170512_211119                            After I got into my car and began driving home I had a realization. I think I’m going to need a wheelchair very soon. Much sooner than I had ever imagined Especially if I’m doing a lot of walking. Like at the store.  I also should probably have someone come with me for help. IMG_20170512_211227                            This just isn’t fair. I’m not even 40 yet. What has my life become?? I feel so pathetic. So useless. An embarrassment and a nuisance. I just want to be me.

   Have I mentioned I HATE FIBROMYALGIA?? What a life I’m living. For the rest of my life. This is going to suck so bad. IMG_20170512_211254                            And people are going to look at me like I’m crazy and or lazy because I look fine. Well, other than the weird way I may be walking.

   I don’t know if I’m suppose to keep pushing and be strong or if I should cave in and get a wheelchair? I wish I had someone with answers for me.

   This struggle is so real.


Quit my job

   So, I actually quit my job this past Monday. Ugh…. Which I’m not real happy about because I really needed the money. I just don’t know anymore 😦 My leg pain has just been getting worse and worse. My meds haven’t really helped much and I’ve just been in so much pain that I broke down crying at work. I just, I just can’t anymore.


   I told my husband who told me that I needed to just quit my job and that everything will be okay… Which I did. At this point though, I really don’t think I had any choice.

   I also called my doc which of whom I didnt even hear back from for 6 hours. Geeze. I guess we know who’s the chop liver to them. Thanks people… And his reply still was he don’t know how to help me anymore. Which I know he’s already told me but you would think he might try to help me. But nope. Nothing. But he had said that I should try calling the rheumatologist that he had sent me to for diagnosis to see if she can help me. (Whom I felt like didn;t really want to help me) and that they will call pain management first thing in a.m. to see if they could possibly get me in their office any earlier. Of course I never heard another thing from ANYONE..


   I feel so alone in this battle. I have no help.. I go to the pain management doc next month and I really hope they can help me or at least pretend that they care and are trying to help.

   I’m not sure what else to do. I know not working will help a ton but I needed that money. I hate not being able to help provide. Not having my own independence. I just feel like such a failure. Ugh,,, Mic , don’t think like that…

   So on a plus side the house will slowly but surely get a good spring cleaning. At least at home I can take my time and move slow. Plus I can stop and or sit whenever I need to.

   I’m trying to come up with a way to earn some kind of money from home. I’m just not sure yet. So here I set. My mind wondering about everything.  

   Oh, a happy thought for our furry family members. They won’t be home alone as often now that i’m not working. I’m sure they will appreciate it. 



    So I was thinking, Id like to figure out how to get a fibromyalgia awareness walk in my state. I looked the walks up this year and there are only in about 5 states that have them. Which is actually very sad. I wish they were in every state. Awareness people awareness…A

     The closes awareness walk to me I believe is like two states away in Tennessee. If my memory is correct,,, buutt I have such a bad memory that I wouldn’t bet anything on it. Haha. 

   I sent an email to someone who I came across in a Fibro web page, but I haven’t heard anything back yet.

   I’m really not sure how to go about it. I know it has to be signed up somewhere and probably approved as well. With lots of organizing and advertizing or something to get enough people here to actually do the walk.

   I know I could post in different fibro sites and word of mouth and im sure there would have to be some kind of a site that everyone would have to go sigh up at.

   Any advice is appreciated 🙂    

                                                               ♥♥Thank you!!

Health Project


   So, my daughter touched my heart ❤ the other day.        Especially because I figured my family is so over hearing about fibro because I talk about it so much, but it’s part of me. So my heart melted when I got the text message posted above from her during school hours that she chose to do her health project on the disease that I have. Fibromyalgia … Hopefully we both learn from her project. I am so proud of her!!!


   I don’t know but I tell you what, Sometimes this disease literally will make me question my own sanity. Because there are times that I ask my self and even others if I’m just crazy. Have I lost my mind? Only I don’t know because my mind is gone…  Do I really have pain or is all of this just because I’m crazy?

   I even assume other’s think I am crazy. Like when I talk about my fibro I assume they are sitting there thinking, This chick is nut’s.  I also feel like I’m crazy when I talk to my nurses and Doctor’s. I keep telling myself , They know its real Mic, Your not their only patient with fibro. They have other patients with this disease.

   I also feel crazy when I try to explain a specific pain or issue to someone. Because fibro is just so hard to explain.

    IMG_20170501_193436                 My leg’s hurt all the time. They feel like small cramps cramping all over variously. Each cramp last’s a minute or two. sometime’s more than one cramp goes on at once. This is pretty much all the time. Whenever I do get a break from the cramps my legs still hurt. They both ach and are so wore out. ugh. And that’s just my leg’s. The pain is everywhere. My feet, knee’s, hip’s, back, shoulder’s,neck,arms. wrist’s back of hands, finger’s and thumb and that’s just the area’s of pain. There’s also so much more in so many way’s.             Fibro messes with your entire nervous system and I HATE it….

  Fibro SUCK’S!!!!  I just want to be normal again!!!



   Well my last few days have been busy, which I feel like I say that a lot. HaHa. I guess I just am busy a lot. It’s a mother’s life…

   I had my nephew Kaegen Thursday through Saturday and he is always a handful. He’s the hyper and whiny type which drives me crazy, but I wouldn’t trade him in for nothing. We ran errands together on Friday. Which consisted of shopping at Wal-Mart and the Dollar Tree, where He was spoiled rotten to the core. Like always. 🙂 We ate at McDonald’s for lunch and when I told him his food options he picked a cheeseburger, And he really wanted that cheeseburger. No fries, or nuggets. Just a CHEESEBURGER… lol,,, So crazy funny. He’s actually big enough now to know what he wants. My baby is growing up on me.  😦  He also of course had him some chocolate milk.  He ate that cheeseburger like a big boy too. No mess anywhere. Awesome!!

   Next I knew I wanted to get his hair cut which he needed. I got some hair cut ideas off the internet and I had two I couldn’t choose from.  One was just a little shorter than what he got last time, but the other was a big difference. It required some real head shaving. I was so nervous. I ended up showing the hair dresser my options and she liked the head shave one best. She thought it would be great on him because of his cowlick. Which was exactly what I thought. Soooo, With my nerves a racking. oh boy I said let’s go for it…. AAANNNDDD      Before pic. (Don’t mind the paint. Painting day.)IMG_20170318_130405Tooooo

And I LOVE it. My mom is yet to see his hair, but oh my she is going to freak out. Lol

   Then I found the perfect yard sale with toddler stuff. Cheap toddler stuff. And yes I went a little over board, but hey It was a great yard sale. Kaegen had a blast with all the new toy’s and chair’s. But of course evething at aunt Meme’s house (Meme is what my three youngest Nephew’s and Niece call me) is for all three of them. Riot, Kaegen and Brooklynn. My babie’s ❤